Harold George #18: Alcohol

Thank you 10,000 B.C. For making alcohol.
Without it I don't think I'd have the courage to make all those presentations in college. Of course I'd slur a couple of words here and there, but I could always pass it off as having an accent. Yeah, a slurring accent. 

Toilet Kisses
I remember the many times I found myself hugging the toilet and blowing chunks of kisses into its porcelain mouth. Not a pretty sight. I can't say I remember it clearly because I was dizzy as **** when it was happening.
Throughout the years after that, I've seen many other people kiss toilets the way I did and vow they'd never drink again. I guess it must be a ritual. Unless of course you're super-religious and think alcohol is the devil, even though some religions used alcohol in their functions and probably still do. 

Underage Drinking
I wasn't into alcohol as a teenager but I do remember trying beer once when I was like 12. "Yuck!" I said, "How could you possibly drink this? It tastes like pee". I'm not sure what beer it was but I do remember it came in a green bottle (if that helps narrow it down for you). I don't think beer taste like pee anymore. Pee tastes like pee...I hear.

I Hate My Kids
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